the aches and pains of me

life is weird sometimes...
sometimes i just don't know whats going on.
today has also been a really long day
and my wrist hurts.... (it's from an old injury, someone pushed me off of a long board in Matt's office 2 years ago, i tore 2 tendons and a ligament in my wrist. now it just hurts sometimes.. yay)
i don't understand guys.
and frankly i can't think of anything much to write about.
there are no profound thoughts in my head today. this whole blog thing is slightly hit and miss. :)

Day 16: Dream house
this is easier to describe then find a picture...
lots of land
white fence
front porch with a swing
2 stories
huge kitchen
enough bedrooms for everyone
guest house in the back
yellow house with a red door
:) and some horse running around so a barn too

sounds good to me

Day 17: Something you're looking forward to

the SF missions trip. i really can't wait to go see and serve in my own area. i'm excited to see how this will stretch me

Day 18: Favorite Place to Eat

i miss Malibu

on Sunday we sang a song in church that was one we sang a lot that month.

i could just close my eyes and picture being back in that field, surrounded by nothing but God, love and not being scared about opening up.

i miss that freedom

i want to be there again

but really, i want Malibu to be everywhere.

random fact

this blog has now been read in 10 countries. i feel pretty cool

love and hugs

emilie

open my eyes, and i am almost broken down

i was told something interesting yesterday.

i got to class early (like always) and the guy sitting next to me (like always) and i were sorta talking (like always) (what can i say, i'm a person of routine...) i don't even really remember what about. when he said this.

"because sometimes girls are just intimidating to guys, you know like the ones that are scary to talk to or even walk up to because they look like you would never have a chance with them. you know, like you."

well 1. no i actually don't know what that's like and 2. ...wait? what?

now when he said this i just did the awkward nod, half laugh thing, because i had no idea what to say. but it made me think, you see, i think a lot of times we take people at face value, we don't bother to get to know the person underneath, what we see is what we get. right? wrong. i've met so many people who turned out the complete opposite of what i THOUGHT when i first met them.  just because i think that girl seems like she'd rip your head off if you say the wrong thing doesn't mean that really she is the kindest person you'll ever met. you have to get to know that person before you know what the true character is. just like this guy who i don't know anything about, besides that he also likes to sit in the 3rd row of class, towards the middle, we tend to make a judgment upon first meeting someone. why? why do we do that? don't you hate it when someone judges you? yet almost everyone does it on a daily basis.

this week i'm going to try to stop that first thought, i'm going to change the way i look at new people, to see beyond the first layer.

also, am i really intimidating?!?

Day 15: Bible verse
1 Samuel 16:7
But the Lord said to him, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things human beings look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

random fact
i have become amazing at dry swallowing pills. this is because i'm too lazy to go downstairs and get a cup of water at night.

always predictable,
emilie

sleepy-ness makes me do odd things...

and here we go... 2 at once, but i think they sorta go together.

Day 13: Goals
1. make God my center of everything
2. be happy with myself
2. earn my AA in Early Childhood Studies
3. transfer

i think that's pretty straight forward...

Day 14: A picture of you last year - how have you changed?

this is from last year in Mexico, me and Marisol.
i've changed in so many ways...at this point in my life i wasn't really living for anything. since then it's become my goal to live for/with God. i've had to make some hard choices and grow up. i've had to do things i didn't want to do. i've had to give up somethings. i've started to see myself as a perfect imperfection. no, i'll never be perfect, but that is what makes me perfect to God. it makes me better. before this was taken Kristen and i weren't best friends, i hadn't been to Malibu, and most of all, i wasn't caring. after this was taken i started to form those deeper relationships, i went to Malibu, i learned about myself, who i was and what i had been hiding. but most of all i started to care. i started to care about where i was with God, i started to care about how my choices affected my life, i started to care about my friendships. i learned how to let go and how to reach out. i learned how to break down. i learned how to not be perfect
frankly, this year has already been great and i know i'm still growing. as scary as it is, it's also the most exciting time in my life.
stay tuned, i'm in for a ride, you can watch if you'd like :)

random fact

it's true.
it's probably TMI, but hey, i'm starting to run out of facts!
emilie

let's take a little break...

i'm going to write more today, take a quick break from the challenge. because i've been hiding behind it a bit...

you see, my life isn't what i thought it would be at this point.
i thought my dad would have a job by now
i thought i'd still be dating Kevin
i thought i would never lose some friends that i have
i thought it would be easy
and i was wrong about everything
now i'm not saying that all of those things are bad, yes, i've made some different friends, but i'm better with them. yes i thought i'd still be dating Kevin. but he's still my best friend.

in this time in my life feels so weird to me. i haven't actually been "single" for more then... 2 weeks, since i was 14, it's really been about 4 years... after my first boyfriend and i broke up, there was a guy right there, we didn't become a couple right away, but i was "taken" per say. after that break up, Kevin and i pretty much got "together" after all of about a day... (it's a cute story that i might write about someday... we'll see) and this time, Kevin and i went our separate ways, and 3 months later it's still me, myself and i. now, i'm not at all saying it's bad. it's probably better then what i have done in the past, but this is really new for me. i almost don't know what to do with myself. it's weird not to have another person that i'm connected to in that way.

i think i'm learning a lot during this period, i'm growing much closer to God, and i am happy, but life is weird. it's weird for me to just be emilie, and not be emilie and someone. i used to always be the friend with a boyfriend, now i am the single friend. it's not what i'm used to, and i'm going to learn from it, i'm just not sure how yet.

so that is why i haven't been writing as much. because i don't even know what i'm doing right now. i'm doing my best to figure it out. and most of the time, i am just fine, other times, it's the hardest thing i've done. i'm learning that it's okay to cry about. it's okay that i'm not okay all the time. it's okay that i'm not with someone. it's okay that i'm focusing just on me. but i have to learn how to do all of that. it's all stuff i thought i knew, but i didn't really. i know it's best that i'm learning this now, even though it's hard. but that doesn't make it easier. just because i know it's right or okay doesn't mean i'm happy with it. that's something i have to learn to. life happens. i can't stop it. i never will be able to.

basically, i know i'm growing more from this then i have in a long time. i know that's why things happened, it was time, i needed to move on and become my own person.
but that still doesn't mean i like it.
but i don't really hate it either
always,
emilie

now i'm just going crazy!

Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend
Day 10: Something you're afraid of
Day 11: Favorite tv shows
Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without
alright, everyone hold on, we're about to cover a lot of info really quickly. there will be a quiz at the end

a favorite picture of your best friend

i have 2 best friends, Kevin and Kristen. i've known them both for about the same amount of time. since i was a freshmen, but Kristen and i weren't really close until... hmm... about a year ago. we started to bond more on the Mexico trip. Kevin and i have been friends since he came over to play video games with my brother and i thought he was cute haha. we got to be really good friends, we dated for almost 2 years and now he is still my best friend. we make fun of each other, and pretty much know everything about one another. Kristen and i just got back from a weekend trip up to Chico to visit Rachel, her sister and one of my good friends. (would you look at that?! just look at it!) and we had a blast. 3 and half hours in the car each way gave us a ton of time to talk, plus having fun in Chico, and eating, a lot... :)

something you're afraid of

i could barely get myself to look up a picture for this. that's how scared i am of spiders.

lets move on please

favorite tv shows

these are my two favorite tv shows, i watch a few others, but these are the ones i really care about =p 

something you don't leave the house without

i made it out of the house 1 time without my phone. i have never lost it or forgotten it that besides that one time... hehe

well i feel like i've already told you a bit about my weekend... hmm, we also went to these really cool park! it had cheesee you could climb in! and a house with really tall slide, and another play structure that had like a bird house on top, me and Kristen almost got stuck in that one :) we also saw a LOT of road kill on the way home :(
random fact
i can't sleep without snuggling something. because of that i have 8 pillows on my bed, and tons of blankets and stuffed animals.
lots of love,
emilie

i'm about to cheat...

and do 2 days at once! ha, take that! (really, i need to, or this will take me months to finish...)
Day 7: Favorite movies
Day 8: A place you've traveled to

Favorite movies.

don't laugh. i love all of these movies. and if someone can actually find me a copy of Going to the Mat, i will love you forever. and ever. and ever.
i can't find it =[

now a place i've traveled to. since there's about two of these...

New York and Malibu. both amazing. in totally different ways. i'd really love to go back to both.


some ramblings... i haven't actually written much, but that's because i'm trying to figure stuff out myself. so i'm sorry if you're wanting to hear some amazing words of wisdom from me, but i just don't have anything now.
i'm starting off a long weekend, and i'm excited. as i said before, Friday Kristen and i will be driving up to Chico to visit Rachel, and i'm super excited. i think i've got school figured out (for the most part) and i'm just trying to deal with what life throws at me.  i should probably be getting to bed, so that tomorrow i can get all ready for our trip, plus i'm just really tired. i'm sure i'll have lots of stories to write about after this weekend =]

random fact
i can dislocate my hips. also, my fingers (and toes) tend to dislocate easily... i had to pop one back in tonight after club j. at least i'm getting good at it?
hugs and love,
emilie

la la la la, la la la la, Elmos world! oh, and day 6

the point of that title is... the song is stuck in my head. that and Mr. Rodgers...

anyways, day 6
Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy

give me a jar of these babies and i'll be your friend for life! i think i got like 6 jars for my last birthday... hehe :)

life has been a little crazy. i have my school under control, but it's eating up my free time. plus i'm still trying to have a life on the side. the Guys and Dolls dance was last night and it went amazing. Rachael did a great job! plus everyone else who did something (and there where lots!) Mrs. Fishers soup was sooooooo good. plus everyone looked amazing!
i think i'm most excited about this weekend though, me and Kristen are going to go see her sister Rachel in Chico :D 4 day weekend!
hopefully i'll write more, before we leave... we shall see though

random fact
i'm pretty sure i forgot this yesterday
and
i have never eaten a Twinkie
until next time,
emilie

Day 5, a little bit more on time?

well day 5 is a song that matches my mood.
hmm...

And you take a moment
Promise me this
That you'll stand by me forever
But if God forbid fate should step in

And force us into a goodbye
If you have children someday
When they point to the pictures
Please tell them my name

Tell them how the crowds went wild
Tell them how I hope they shine

Long live the walls we crashed through
I had the time of my life with you

yep, that pretty much sums up my mood. i'm really okay and happy with where i am. but sometimes, i like looking back at old happy times. and i really hope that it will always be that way, for the both of us. but i still have to look at the future, i can't live in what used to be.
(Taylor Swift, Long Live)

random fact
i think i feel in love with the 40's tonight. the Guys and Dolls dance was so amazing.
happy v-day everyone,
emilie

Day 4... 4 days later

i confess, i haven't written in days. like 4 whole days. how did you ever make it?
this 30 days is gonna be a bit dragged out =]
Day 4: Your parents

my parents

there's my parents
yeeeep
Kathy and Leonard or Mr and Mrs Babyak :)

i've been super busy lately, just with school and the rest of life.  i went to a show last night for my theatre class, and have another one tonight, then i have the whole Guys and Dolls dance taking over on Sunday, and a test on Monday night. whew. i get tired thinking about it.

time to do some more homework.
yaaaaaaaaaay
random fact
my parents will have been married for 25 years this July
see ya,
emilie

Day 3

Day 3: Your first love

not gonna lie, this post will probably be a bit hard to write...

me and Kevin.
we dated for about a year and 10 months. it was a really good, really long run. he was and still is one of my best friends, but things got complicated when he went away to school, 2,000 miles away. we both grew up, we had started dating when i was just 15 and he was 17. we're both happier now having a very close friendship. no, it's not easy being apart sometimes, but we both know it's for the best, for both of us.
i'm so looking forward to when he comes back for spring break =]

not much has really been going on in my life besides school, i'm getting used to the new homework load with new classes and fitting it in with the rest of my life. so far i think it's working out really well... even though i should be writing a chapter summary right now, and not this =]

now in some sad news,
2 of my guinea pigs died =[ Kitty passed away Thursday morning and Tops this morning. Kitty had pretty much raised Tops since he was 3 weeks old, and i think Tops just missed his buddy too much. poor little guys. i'm down to just 6 piggys now...

random fact
i could live off of salad. i never get tired of eating it
see ya,
emilie

time for day 2

Day 2
the meaning behind the name of my blog

well basically it's from one of my favorite songs ever. "Unwritten" i like the idea that it's up to me to finish my story, nobody else can, and at the end of the day, the rest is still unwritten. it will never be finished. but now to find a picture to sum that up... hold on just a sec. time to call in google images!

there, i think that sums it up in picture form.

lets see. today was pretty fun and productive. i got my hair cut, bought some hair dye too, helped paint a bunch of buildings at CPC and then knocked out a ton of homework. ate some dinner then my mommy dyed my hair. overall a fun and good day.

random fact

until the next post,
emilie

the 30 day challenge

well my cousin Rachel (hi Rachel!) sent me this to do with my blog, sooo i'm gonna do it! it's the 30 day picture challenge. here's all of them

Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts
Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3: Your first love
Day 4: Your parents
Day 5: A song to match your mood
Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7: Favorite movies
Day 8: A place you've traveled to
Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend
Day 10: Something you're afraid of
Day 11: Favorite tv shows
Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without
Day 13: Goals
Day 14: A picture of you last year - how have you changed?
Day 15: Bible verse
Day 16: Dream house
Day 17: Something you're looking forward to
Day 18: Favorite Place to Eat
Day 19: Something you miss
Day 20: Nicknames
Day 21: Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?
Day 22: What's in your purse?
Day 23: Favorite Movie
Day 24: Something you've learned
Day 25: Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 26: Your Dream Wedding
Day 27: Original Photo of the city you live in
Day 28: Something that stresses you out
Day 29: 3 Wishes
Day 30: a picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge

so here we go, Day 1
Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts
you should already know me...

picture



now 15 facts... this might be hard to do

1. i always pull the sleeves of my jacket, sweater or sweatshirt down over my hands

2. i am putting off doing some homework right now

3. i love school

4. i am growing my hair out, i love it long

5. i love eating salad

6. i have been driving for 2 years

7. i got my permit the day i turned 15 and half

8. i got my license the day i turned 16

9. my feet shrunk, i went from a size 9 and half to a 8 and half

10. i had the time of my life on WorkCrew. it changed my life

11. i love history

12. even though i hate math, i am good at it. (most of the time)

13. i love panda bears

14. i have only moved once in my life that i remember

15. i spent 3 months on crutches without the doctor being able to figure out was wrong.

i don't feel the need to put a random fact on here.. cuz well ^

until later!

emilie

a blog full of secrets

well i haven't posted in a few days, but really, there isn't much to write about. i'm keeping very busy with school and the rest of my life. i'm quite enjoying it at the same time. i don't have a lot of homework (at least not yet) but it's enough to keep me busy, i'm really understanding all of my classes too, that's a plus. club j is growing and lots of fun, i'm really enjoying Girls Group as well, i've so far managed to find time to have a life, even with school going on.
and it's really gross when people just cough in the cafeteria without covering. that's just nasty, anywhere. how hard is it to freaking cover your mouth????
yes i will say something if you do it by me.
basically this is a really boring post. i really don't have anything to write about.
hmmm...
i'll just post some pictures.

these are all old Post Secret secrets
they make me smile.
and now my random fact will be a picture too
random fact

^i do that all the time.
why? i have no idea. but let me tell you, i have some of the best hiding spots and escape routes
until later,
emilie