my secret

Psalm 31:1-2
In you, Lord, I have taken refuge: let me never be put to shame: deliver me in your righteousness. Turn Your ear to me: come quickly to my rescue: be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me.
Psalm 32: 1-2
Blessed are those whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed are those whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit.
Psalm 51: 1-2
Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love, according to your great compassion, blot out my transgressions.  Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

now, my secret is, that if you look at the book of Psalms (and Proverbs as a close 2nd) in my Bible, the pages are at least 5x more worn then anywhere else, many of the verses are highlighted. part of this is because in Malibu, our Bible study was on Psalms and Proverbs, but the other reason is, there is just a Psalm for anything. no matter what heart break or joy you have in your life, you can find a Psalm that relates to it. if i'm ever lost in where i want to study next, something always pulls me right back to them. the verses above are some of my favorites, but really, i'd be typing for days if i tried to share all of them with you. the reason i put this as my secret is because, i don't think it should be. what gets me through my days is something i should want to share. so i am.

i think if someone told me i had to pick just one verse to have memorized, to always be that one thing i base my faith off of, it would have to be Psalm 4:8
        In peace I will lie down and sleep, for You alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.
right now, i really wish i could be back in Malibu, it was so easy to find God, to be with God, to just be able to hear Him.

this was the view from where i sat to do my quite time most days. it was so easy to just feel God. but the world can't live in Malibu, i have to make my world my Malibu. and no, it's nowhere near as easy as it was there. but i think that's part of our challenge in life. to make it though the tough times. i was lucky to be able to go off and learn how to do it in this beautiful place, and that's more then a lot can say.

my chance to go was a amazing one. you see, in Young Life they let you try out for Work Crew, then fill out a sheet and say which camps you'd rather go to and what times you can do it. i put down Malibu mostly because it was there. not because i thought i would be going. i put it as my top choice, a camp in Arizona was 2nd, Oregon 3rd. i thought for sure that i would be going to one of those. Malibu wasn't even on my mind.
well i was on a choir trip when the e-mail letting me know if i made it or not would be set, so Kevin checked it for me and texted me to tell me that yes, i did make it into the program. but i didn't have any e-mail for which camp yet. so i texted Carol Carter. she replied while i was watching another choir preform. i say my purse light up and ducked under the pew to see what it said.
"i hope you have a passport.... welcome to MALIBU!"
i almost screamed from under the pew. my choir director knew that i was finding out because, depending on the camp i got, i would have to miss a concert. i got the "Guzman look" but he was happy for me. i hit forward and sent the text off to a bunch of people. and then i had the thought. "how do i pay for this?"
you see, i get free room and board, but getting there is up to me. so i need airfare to and from Seattle ($300), plus the $175 for the bus and boat ride that was needed into Canada and to camp.
i started asking around for help, Carol looked for me and couldn't find anything. then she motioned my issue to a women (Kevin's aunt actually) that worked in the office, i soon got a call from her, she wanted to know if i could show up with me, my dad and however many brothers i could bring, with bikes and pose for a picture to help her daughter out with a project, that she would start a fund for me if i could. well it sounded kinda odd, but hey, why not?
well we did it, and she handed me a envelope.
i got home and opened it.
i found a check that would completely cover my airfare.
it was a huge shock, so much more then i expected.
i was truly on my way.

i could never thank the people that helped me get there enough. if it wasn't for them, i wouldn't be who i am today. i don't even have a clue where i would be, but i know, it would be nothing like this. so if you're reading this, thank you.

random fact:
i have 8 pet guinea pigs. Buttercup, Bubbles, Betsy, Buddy, Puddles, Tops, Kitty and Panda.
also, Blossom (r.i.p...) and Pumpkin (who lives with Brynna) are my other 2 babies.
i never meant to have that many at once..
until next time
emilie