I find it odd that right now I'm the girl that's looking at going thousands of miles away to school in a year. I never thought I would even go to college. For awhile I didn't even think I would graduate high school. I think it was because I was never going to be that girl that I decided I would. I don't understand myself sometimes, you tell me I can't do something and guess what? I'll do it. That doesn't always work out the best for me, but sometimes it really does. My life is nothing like I thought it would be if you had asked me a year ago where I would be today. Nothing. And it's hard for me to totally change my dreams and focus in life, but I'm excited to do it. I'm excited to see where God takes me. And I'm finally learning that saying no to God, just doesn't work all that often...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7ulArWYOGI
I started reading James tonight. James 1 to be exact.
I really am looking for that moment again, the big "ah ha!". I want to find it this summer.
But right now my thoughts are with this. Prayer.
Sometimes I feel like Christians throw the word around to often.
"I have a test tomorrow, pray for me!"
"I'm really tired, pray for me!"
"I have a long drive this weekend, pray for me!"
Not that I have ANYTHING against the power of prayer. I truly believe in prayer, but I also believe in living your life and responsibility for your actions. Hey, you didn't study for that test. You didn't go to bed until 3 am. Yes I believe in prayer as a lifestyle, but don't you have to actually try? It's like that joke were a homeless man prays every morning that he wins the lottery, and after months he is mad at God for never helping him, when God yells down "would you just buy a ticket?! Then we can talk!" Sure God helps you through prayer, but you have to meet Him halfway (or at least somewhere along the way). That's what I think. Feel free to debate me on that one.
Random fact
I always over think everything. It's my worst habit that I'm trying to break.
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